When Vulnerability is Strength and Power is Weakness
Hope in Chaos
There’s something humbling about an act of devotion. When we allow ourselves to surrender and offer up our hearts to another, or just to an unknown force. Asking for grace to flood us. After I was diagnosed with diabetes in 2008, I spent months just weeping in my yoga room, begging for things to be different, hoping I could cure myself. I built flower yantras and wrote poems… I chanted healing mantras I did everything I could to try and avoid the inevitable, but eventually there was a moment where I gave up. It was in that moment of surrender and trust that ‘grace’ swept in and I knew that I would be okay.
I surrendered to my body and started taking the life saving medication I needed, and I learned to manage my health through discipline and vigilance. There certainly have been very challenging moments, but I feel stronger from it. What was my vulnerability became my strength.
Today as I scroll through my various social media feeds I feel gutted. It’s abhorrent to me that seemingly powerful men, with unknown nefarious agendas strut around holding their billions like golf balls. Just whack a billion here or there and all is well. It’s as if destroying norms and attacking the vulnerable is just another day on the course. As all this ‘golfing’ is going on I keep turning inwards and asking myself “why am I reacting?” It makes me think of all those moments I felt powerless in my marriage. Where I so desperately wanted the other person to just get their shit together. Just do something positive and healthy for themselves or for petes sake. Stop lying! But it was impossible and the more I tried to change the other person and situation the angrier I became until finally after throwing myself into a 7 day self development ‘retreat’ I was able to harness my anger in such a way that it revealed my super power… my vulnerability.
But I digress…my personal reactions and resolutions are not what needs dwelling on… what I want to explore here is how power and its abuse can only end in weakness…for this I look to the strength and tenacity of the Puranas, the traditional stories from the Sanatana dharma, the eternal culture of humankind.
One of the greatest demons to every roam the earth was called Mahisha. No matter what anyone tried to do, this demon was relentless, like a wrecking ball…worlds were destroyed by its might and power…after a long time all the devatas (the light bearers) came together and through their combined light created the great goddess and protector Durga. Durga was a fierce warriors with 10 weapons, but she was also a mother. She knew how important it is to protect her children. To defeat this demon as was her charge she had to be clever. She had to find his weakness…So rather than confront him with a might that matched his own. She placed her foot delicately on his body, thus distracting him for long enough to pierce his heart with her sword.
A woman’s wisdom destroyed the most powerful demon earth.
I truly feel that our combined light, wisdom and hope has the power to conquer these challenging times. It starts with seeing how perceived power and wealth is not a strength but a weakness. Power and wealth must be maintained. There is never enough…greed is its bedfellow. But what is hung onto can be lost. There is no certainty. Even the wealthiest person in the world with all the power will eventually pass on. And they can’t take their billions with them…
True power comes when we begin the enquiry into the nature of ourselves. Who am I? What is the meaning of this word “I”? What is the nature of creation and my purpose in it? Knowing oneSelf as lasting beyond all the petty tyrants that come and go, might not seem top of the list right now as chaos rips through the fabric of normality. But think about this. All these things that feel so out of control, and all our reactions, what if in the middle of our own personal sense of powerlessness we just stopped and accepted our vulnerability? AND at the same time looked to something greater…
That’s what gives me hope….
Jai Ma Durga!
Rachel
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